Light Bulbs Do NOT Taste Like Chocolate!!

I was 3 years old and playing with my friend Sally* in her room. Sally* was 2 years old at the time. While we were playing Barbies, she very adamently told me that Light Bulbs tasted like Chocolate.

I didn't believe her. It didn't make sense to me but she sounded very sure of herself. She told me she had licked a light bulb and it tasted like chocolate.


Soon, my mom came and picked me up from Sally's* house and we went home. I played with my Barbies in my play room for a while but then I remembered that Sally* told me about the chocolate flavored light bulbs. I wanted to see if she was right.

So I went to my bed and took off the lamp shade of my bed side table lamp. The lamp had been turned on for a while, but I didn't think anything of it. The concept of 'hot' and 'cold' were still vague in my mind and I didn't fully understand yet.

I slowly brought the lamp to my tongue and I licked the light bulb... effectively burning off my tastebuds. And it certainly did NOT  taste like chocolate!!

I started crying, my tongue hurting, and ran to my mommy. She asked me what was wrong and I told her I burned my tongue on a light bulb. Naturally, she asked me how I burned my tongue on a light bulb and I explained to her about the chocolate flavored light bulbs. She laughed and laughed and laughed. I couldn't taste anything for an entire week!

 

 

I don't wanna go back to pre-school mommy!

My mom enrolled me into pre-school. Everything was great until we watched Charlotte's Web. You see, my middle name is Charlotte and it's very special to me because my materernal grandmother was named Charlotte and she passed away from Lukemia when my mom was a little girl. So it was like a special connection to the grandmother I never met.

So anyways, I was always sort of... not quite up to speed with my peers socially. So we sat down on the carpet square around the tv and we watched the cartoon Charlotte's Web. I mentioned to my peers that my middle name was Charlotte and I was named that after my grandmother, who I never met, because she went to heaven when my mommy was a little girl.

My Peers, being the 4 year olds they were, ignored the specialness of sharing a name with my grandmother, but instead decided to tease me. They started calling me Charlotte's Web. I was so angry but didn't know how to make them stop and I hated spiders and I was not a spider! And I wasn't a web either! But I definately was not a spider!

Kids kept calling me Charlotte's Web and it made me so angry and the teacher just didn't understand why I was so upset. Eventually Christmas Break came, and I told my mommy that I did not want to go back to Pre-School. I didn't like it and I never wanted to go again. So my mom unenrolled me from pre-school, not exactly sure why I didn't like it.

Introduction: Why I Decided to Blog

Hello. My name is Alexandria* and I have ADD. I have been diagnosed with ADD since I was 6 years old. Most of my childhood, I was medicated, but I still struggled with it. Currently I am not medicated but I wish I was, but alas, I have no insurance. So a little about me and my ADD... When I was a newborn (still in hospital) I started having seizures so after many tests and CAT Scans and MRI's it was discovered that I had something called an infarc (fancy way to say a blood vessel collapsed in my brain - the part that controls fine motor skills and creativity). Infarcs are very rare to begin with and usually, they bleed into the brain, but mine was even more rare, because it did not bleed into my brain. But because that small little part of my baby brain wasn't getting oxygen, brain cells died... thus when I was 6 years old, I was officially diagnosed with ADD. My mom had been warned, when I was a baby, that it was very likely that I would develop a learning disability, and most likely ADD. I promise that the dry and factual is over and from here on out it will be funny (I hope) and entertaining (I hope.)


I decided to blog because I have been inspired by a totally awesome blog Hyperbole and a Half. Looking back on my childhood, I did a lot of crazy, stupid, funny things. And if I can make people smile with my crazy stupid, funny childhood events then awesome. Not sure if anybody will actually read this, but who knows? anything is possible.

*All names will be changed to protect the guilty... I mean innocent... ;-)